What a night...

Wow...where do I start?  Yesterday was hard and yet incredibly easy.  I picked up a good friend on the drive to dropping our little nugget off and we chatted the entire way which kept my emotional state in check:)  The transition went better than I could have ever imagined.  I saw two ladies sitting with an empty carseat and I just walked up and asked if that seat happened to be for a precious baby boy.  I think his aunty jumped up and hugged me before she even said "yes it is".  I...of course...began to cry which prompted what I would call a "hug frenzy".  Both ladies thanked me repeatedly for loving their nephew.  They appeased me by listening to every word I wanted to tell them...about the baby (THEIR nephew;), his schedule, likes and dislikes, sleeping habbits, I even sang them the song I made up for him (with hopes they could memorize quickly;).  True story.  And they loved it.  I asked for her info and she wrote down both her e-mail address and phone number with great zeal:)  I asked her to please call me if she ever needs a sitter and she offered to let me watch her two kiddos as well.  They were ecstatic to see him...passing him back and forth, loving on him, and listening to me ramble on.  They expressed their appreciation to me several times and I could feel their relief that he had been with someone that loved him so much.  I drove away with all of the feelings I had asked God to give me earlier in the day...blessed. 
As soon as I got back in the car, Chandler said "Where baby go?"  Rowan actually used the baby's name (which is kind of difficult) and asked where he was.  And little Miss Jayde who happened to sleep through the entire thing, woke up and immediately asked where her baby was.  On the verge of tears, I looked at my friend Jen and asked her how I was going to fix this.  I was SO sad for them.  Jayde just stared out the window with crocodile tears in her eyes and responded with a "no" when I asked her if she was okay.  They were all aware that he was leaving our family today and they said their goodbyes before we left the house.  But I think the sight of his empty carseat hit them hard.  Jen and I chatted through the drive and I contemplated taking them to McDonalds and letting them play in the playplace...a place they had yet to experience due to their mom's mild case of germaphobia:)  I dropped Jen off and my tears could no longer be avoided by conversation...so out they came.  I was determined to cheer up my babies so off to McDonalds I drove.  I sat in the parking lot trying to get myself together when Jayde informed me that playing in there would definitely make her feel better and that playing would probably make me feel better too.  I needed that giggle:)  So in we went...I must tell you that playing in those things goes against all my instincts.  Big kids running over the littles, sneezing, slobbering, some not adhering to the "must wear socks" rule.  I was in a mood for sure...a new one...and I threw caution to the wind for the sake of their smiles:)    I must also tell you that in my mind, my kids would whine through dinner begging to go play, the playing would likely give me an anxiety attack, my newly trained middle child would definitely have an accident shutting the entire thing down for complete disinfection, I would have to chase them to get their shoes on and they would leave kicking and screaming with their little mom dragging them through the parking lot.
In real life, they thoroughly enjoyed their nuggets and fries, Jayde and I had a wonderful conversation about how neat it is that God trusted our family to take care of the baby.  And about how He's probably going to send us another baby to love...we talked about whether it would be a boy or girl and Jayde said she can't be sure but she bets that when she smiles, the baby will smile back at her.  I agreed:)  And then...we ventured into the germ infested toddler paradise.  They did great aside from a giant kid knocking Rowan down and making him cry...his sister quickly ran to his rescue and all was good.  When it was time to go, I got their shoes on...there was no "chasing".  We all held hands and peacefully made our way to the mini van...after I accidently left through the emergency exit...oops.  I wouldn't have even known, but a hair eating little girl was taunting me with my mistake through the window.
Then we got home where all of the baby stuff was still sitting around...I immediately told them how proud I was of their behavior and handed them each a pack of gummis to suppliment the nutritious dinner they had earlier inhaled.  And then I asked what movie they'd like to watch...Despicable Me and cuddle time...yes please.  Then they wanted milk...okay.  Then they wanted grapes...okay.  I was on the phone with my sister and she asked if I was going to drizzle the grapes with chocolate syrup, let them eat in the living room, and perhaps suggest a Crazy Crook food fight.  I laughed and told her that if she wants something, now would be a good time to ask;)  JT had a track meet and I think he may have been slightly shocked to come home and find me in such a state...he had prepared himself for something entirely different.  He had said his goodbye that morning and I know the mood in our home helped him be okay too.  I went to bed with comfort and peace...with knowledge that our little nugget was getting some GOOD lovin.  My God is SO good to me...it shouldn't have been that easy...He gave me everything I asked for...everything I needed.  My heart is good and I am so thankful!  My God is always faithful:)

Believing and for His glory,
~Samantha